Thinking of You
by Nobody S. Storm
Summary: Well, Bella ends up being Mello's older sister and she goes to Wammy's because it would be 'unethical' to keep them apart. In this story Edward is just an ordinary guy. NOT a vampire. My first story so it's probably not that good. BTW, PLEASE review!
1. Arriving

**Arriving**

Mrs. Dunnigan drove me to the airport with the window rolled down to let in a breeze. It was 75 degrees in Phoenix, the sky a brilliant blue, uninterrupted by clouds. I was wearing my favorite shirt -sleeveless, white eyelet lace; i wore it to say farewell, farewell warm weather. Farewell to the Flower Shop where I spent so many hours. Farewell to the orphanage I grew up in. Farewell to the elementary school were I had my first crush. Farewell to the high school where my heart had been stolen, broken, then fixed again. Farewell to the fountain where I first met him. Farewell to the restaurant where he finally asked me. Farewell to the beach where I planned to marry him. Farewell to the tree under which he told me he was going to I- "Bella, we're here," Mrs. Dunnigan said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Well, bye then, I guess," I said, I had never been really good with goodbyes.

"Yeah, I'll miss you," she told me, giving me a quick hug before heading back to her car.

The flight to England was long enough for me to read the two books I had brought with me. I sighed as the plane neared England and the beautiful sky became more and more crowded with ugly gray clouds. I saw a young man wearing a brown suit holding up a sign with the words Isabella Swan written on them.

I walked over to him and said, "hi, I'm Isabella Swan, but call me Bella."

He smiled at me, "hello Bella I'm Anthony." But his eyes cruelly told me about how unwelcome I was at wherever he was taking me.

"This way," he said, and he led me to a long black limo.

The limo too, was cold and unwelcoming. He opened the door for me and got in, he sat across from me, he stared at me the entire ride, I could feel his eyes on me, but he didn't talk, for that I was grateful, though I doubt he did it for me, he was just too outraged by my presence to speak. I don't know why he was outraged, but he was, I could feel it in his eyes.


	2. Unwelcome

**Unwelcome**

I looked at the enormous fence surrounding the mansion. The message was clear, KEEP OUT. The place reminded me of a prison cell disguised as a palace. It was nothing like where I grew up in Pheonix, there were happy, badly drawn pictures. On one wall, nicknamed the graffiti wall, there was 40 years worth of orphan graffiti. Little kids drew smiling, sunglasses wearing suns and rainbows. Surprisingly enough everyone respected the graffiti wall, they didn't write swear words on it, or other inappropriate things. This place was nothing like her home. It was cold, emotionless. This place might be grander, more sophisticated but it lacked the charm, the personality of my home, sure it had some bad memories there, but it kept it's secrets, it was patient and kind, it was a place I could always feel welcomed and loved. This place is so different, it's cold and unforgiving. I ached to go home, but I couldn't. Anthony took my arm and took me inside. He led me to what must be the main office where an old man was sitting at a desk.

"You can go," he told Anthony, without looking up.

After Anthony left, he looked at me and said, "hello Isabella, welcome to Wammy's."

He looked kinder than Anthony, but he looked at me with worry, "it's Bella, if you don't mind sir," I told him, not knowing why I had called him sir.

He looked rather amused, "I don't mind, but it's Roger if you don't mind. However at this orphanage you will have an alias."

"Okay."

"Do you know why you're here?"

"No."

"You have a younger brother with the alias of Mello. You were left at Embly orphanage, while Mello was left at another orphanage and he eventually made his way here, when it was found out that he had a sister, it was decided that it was unethical to keep the two of you separated. Mello we, of course, couldn't send to Phoenix because that would any chance of him ever becoming L.

"Who's L?"

"He's a detective and this orphanage is for talented children who have the potential to succeed him."

"So this is basically an orphanage for super geniuses?!"

"Yes."

I felt a feeling of dread build up in me, I'm not a genius. What would they do to me when they found out. Then I realized that they probably already knew, which would explain why Anthony was so mad.

"Please, choose an alias."

"Nobody," I said, because that's how I felt.

"Alright, Anthony please escort to advanced calculus," and I realized that he had come back into the room.

Anthony led me through the grandly decorated halls until he came to what I guess was the advanced calculus room.

Inside, the students stared at me as Anthony explained my presence. Most looked just curious until they realized I wasn't here because I was talented like them, then they just glared, especially one blond guy who looked like it was a personal insult to him that I even existed. But some didn't look mad, someone with scarlet, obviously dyed hair was too absorbed in his video games to notice me, another guy who was even paler than him, my dearest Edward, with bleach blond hair just looked empty, but this one girl with light brown hair looked really excited to see me.

"Well then Nobody," the teacher said, spreading out the word to make it very clear to me, just how insignificant I was, "sit over there, don't interrupt and try to learn something."

I sat in the corner where he told me to and I looked at his eyes.

His eyes made it very clear to me what he thought of me, '_You shouldn't be here you insignificant little nothing, you're just taking up space that could be occupied by the next L, you are not welcome here._'


	3. Kindred Spirit

**Kindred Spirit**

After class -I understood some of it- the girl with brown hair that had smiled at me hurried over. I felt nervous, what did she want? But she didn't look very mean...

"Hi! I'm Linda! You're alias is Nobody? That's SO creative! So where are you going for your next class?"

"Um, I don't know," I told her, feeling like a cockroach in a butterfly garden, she was talented, she belonged here, she knew where she was going. I didn't, why was she talking to me?

"Well then, we'll just ask a teacher they would probably know."

She took my hand and led me to an adult whom I assumed was watching to make sure nobody started a fight which is what they did at my old school, but hey, maybe the kids were more mature as well as being geniuses.

"Hey Lily, do you know where Nobody's next class is? She's new."

"New?" Lily asked doubtfully, curiosity showing in her eyes.

She took out a cell phone and called someone, "Roger? We apparently have a new student named Nobody, where is here next class?"

Lily's eyes turned icy as Roger explained that I was Mello's sister and not a human shaped container of knowledge and I was only here because of a chance discovery joined by ethics.

"Uh-huh, okay," she said into the phone, the disdain in her eyes obvious.

"Poetry," Lily finally told us, somehow managing to glare at me and smile warmly at Linda at the same time.

"We're in the same class!" Linda exclaimed with a smile, "We're going over Emily Dickinson for the millionth," she told me rolling her eyes, "but it's okay because she writes really beautifully."

"I learned about her in ELA," I said, hoping that I might actually know something, I mean, poetry is about feelings, I have feelings.

"Yeah, I figured you did, poetry is," Linda abruptly stopped talking as we walked through the doors.

"Poetry is what?" I asked.

"Nobody, if you want to share something with the class, it must be poetry related. Go write a poem on the board," I heard a voice behind me say.

I turned around and saw a slender woman who looked like she was in her early thirties looking at me. She looked angry but curious and almost amused at my question. I didn't see any scorn in her eyes, maybe she didn't know, I guess she'd find out soon enough since I have to write a poem.

As I walked up to the board I heard snickers coming from my new classmates, "I'll have none of that," said the woman whom I assumed was the teacher.

I hesitantly picked up the chalk and began to write.

Dandelion

It had just begun to grow

in the beautiful sunshine

But was plucked

and placed in a cold, unforgiving place

Surrounded by roses, lilies, hydrangeas

but no dandilions

You're a weed they snickered

you don't belong here

And the dandelion cried

for she knew it was true

People killed her

never complimenting her on her beauty, her scent

The flowers here were meant to thrive

but she was just a weed

"Interesting," the woman said, giving me an odd little half smile. Perhaps I've found a kindred spirit.


	4. Strange

**Strange**

After poetry the teacher -I found out her name was Iris- came up to me and told me how my alias reminded her of one of the poems by Emily Dickinson. She seemed kind and I thought for the first time that maybe Wammy's isn't completely horrid, though I'll still be glad when I leave.

"It's lunchtime now!" Linda told me, "do you have a place to sit?"

"No."

"Oh goody! That means you can sit at my table!"

We sat at the end table with six of her friends, who she introduced me to. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them. Most of them looked nice enough, but one girl with dark brown, almost black, hair scowled at me with contempt.

It was there, sitting in the lunchroom that I noticed him, the pale boy from my advanced calculus class, sitting alone.

I looked at him more carefully than before, his hair was white, whiter than snow, just like the rest of him, except for his eyes, his eyes were black like ebony, as black as my dear Edwards eyes were when he was angry, and they looked completely emotionless, it kind of scared me. His button down shirt was white and his jeans were the palest of blue's if you didn't look closely enough, it seemed like he was wearing pajama's. He wasn't eating either, he was putting together a puzzle. It was odd, not the fact that he was doing a puzzle when he was supposed to be eating, but the puzzle itself that was odd, it was completely white, how did he know what piece to put where without the colors?

"Who is he?' I asked Linda.

She looked up and saw who I meant.

"That's Near, he's first at this school, I've invited him to sit with us a few times, but he prefers to be alone," she whispered to me under her breath, "you probably shouldn't talk to him because Mello despises him, because Mello is second in line but is always losing to Near, but he doesn't like me either so I guess the damage is done."

I didn't like the way she said Mello, like he was the devils spawn or something. I decided not to say anything about it though, "First, wow how old is he? He looks like he's eight, maybe ten."

"Yeah, he looks kind of young, but really he's thirteen."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He seems empty, emotionless, like a human shaped container, but there's something about him that feel like he's hiding something. The mansion felt the same way when I arrived a few hours ago. Strange...


	5. Wise Eyes

**Wise Eyes**

During lunch Linda asked a gazillion questions. '_Bella, you _must_ stop using fake numbers if you_ ever _want to fit in at Wammy's_,' Mrs. Dunnigan, the caretaker at Embly's, chided. Great, now I'm hearing voices in my head as well as not being a genius.

After lunch, one of my new acquaintances, who considerately reminded me that her alias was Elani, had physics with me. We walked to class together without speaking, maybe she was shy like me.

When we entered, Elani went to sit at a black topped lab table, at least one thing was exactly like I was used to. She already had a neighbor, in fact, everyone had a neighbor except for Near. He looked even paler in contrast with the tables.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I introduced myself to the teacher, Violet -do all the female teachers have flower names?- and explained my presence. Violet scowled at me when she saw that I got to sit next to Near, first in line for the L throne. She expected me to cheat, I realized, as she gazed at me with cold, mistrusting eyes.

I took careful notes, even though I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about

After class, Violet walked over and inspected my notes.

She turned to Near and smiled at him warmly, "Near, honey, did you help Nobody today?"

"No, and don't act as if you're not asking if she was cheating. It insults my intelligence for you to think that I can't see through that horrible smile of yours."

Violet glared at me after Near left, "I'll catch you cheating one day, and when that day comes, I'll have you kicked out, brother or no brother."

I sat frozen in my seat, staring blankly at her. She was so mean, what did I even do to her? It wasn't fair. I began slowly gathering my things, trying to stop the angry tears from coming. I will not cry in front of her, I told myself. But the tears didn't stop, for some reason my temper was hardwired into my tear ducts. I usually cried when I was angry, a humiliating tendency.

"So you're Mello's sister?" a pubescent male voice asked.

I looked up to see a cute, baby-faced boy, about twelve, or thirteen. His pale blond hair was carefully gelled into orderly spikes. He smiled at me in a freindly way and I couldn't detect any scorn in his eyes.

"Yeah," I said with a smile.

"Nobody, right? I'm Six."

"Years?" I asked, shocked.

"No," he laughed kindly, "that's my alias."

"Oh," I felt stupid.

"Do you need help finding your next class?"

"I'm going to gym, I think I can find it."

"That's my next class too," he seemed thrilled, "we can walk there together."

He managed to talk about everything in the three minute walk -I found out that he was from California, he lived there until two years ago, so he sympathized with me about the sun. He was a Gemini. He's here because he's a violin prodigy, but he has no idea what that has to do with detective work. He can speak French, Italian, Spanish, German, English, and Japanese fluently. He can read and write in Latin. My brother is probably the least mellow person here. My brother eats more chocolate than a pregnant woman. My brothers best friend is third. My brothers best friend is addicted to video games and cigarettes but I can't tell Roger. And I have wise eyes, like my brother, but more subtle, 'probably 'cause you're a girl,' he told me.

Wow, wise eyes, I'm not really sure what to make of that...


	6. Hated

**Hated**

The gym teacher, Max, found me a uniform but that didn't make me change for gym class. I hated gym, so this class would basically be my personal hell on earth.

I sat next to Near while watching four volleyball games running simultaneously. Remembering how many injuries I had sustained -and inflicted- remembering how many times I'd gotten yelled at for missing the ball. I felt slightly nauseated. I absentmindedly wrapped my arms around my leg, pulling it close to my almost non-existent chest. I noticed Near doing the same thing and stopped, feeling awkward.

Finally, school was over for the day. I walked slowly up to a teacher and asked them where my room was. After a short phone conversation with Roger she scowlingly told me where to go.

I lay on my bed in fetal position and thought about Edward, oh I hope he's okay! What if something happened to him?! What if he got shot or kidnapped or-

The door opened and a blond, intelligent looking, boy came in.

"You're supposed to knock!" I yelled, ready to throw a pillow at him.

"Well, I'm sorry _Nobody_," his tone indicated that clearly he wasn't, " and how the hell is a damn pillow supposed to fucking hurt me?"

I put the pillow down feeling stupid, "who are you?"

"I'm your brother, but I don't know how we can be related. Me being a genius and you being a fucking idiot," he told me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm not an idiot!" as you can see, I'm _amazing_ at comebacks.

"Yeah, you're just _average_," he said average as if it was the most repulsive word in existance.

"What's wrong with being average?"

"_EVERYTHING!_"

"...well sorry, if I could control it, I would be incredible at everything."

"You're just taking up space, you don't belong here, I guess you're here because it would be 'unethical'," I could hear the air quotes around the word 'unethical', "to keep us apart, but you might as well not even be here, because I'm not ever going to acknowledge your existence again. Especially after you became friends with that annoying little Linda, so goodbye, you idiotic insignificant little _Nobody_," and with that he left.

I cried into my pillow, I didn't like this place, I didn't like the rain, I didn't like gym, I didn't like the pressure put on everyone to be perfect, I didn't like being far away from the closest people I had to a family, I didn't like Mello, and I most certainly didn't like being hated.


	7. Letters to Edward

**Letters to Edward**

The next day was better...

and worse.

It was easier because I knew somewhat what to expect and what to do. Six sat next to me in Poetry and walked me to my next class. People didn't glare at me quite as much as yesterday. I sat with a large group of people at lunch that included Linda, Six, and Elani, and some other people who's names and faces I still couldn't remember. I began to feel like I was badly treading water, instead of drowning like yesterday.

It was worse because I was tired; I could barely sleep with the rain pounding against my windows, and the little sleep was filled with nightmares of Edward getting hurt. It was worse because Flint, the advanced calculus teacher, called on me when my hand wasn't even raised. I had the wrong answer; people snickered. It was miserable because I had to do gym today and I got hit in the face. Several times. And it was worse because I missed the Cullens.

When the school day was finally over, I went to my room, got out a peice of paper and a pen, and started to write a letter to Edward...

_Dearest darlingest Edward,_

_How are you? How's Iraq? When are you coming back? I know it's selfish, but I want you to be here, with me. What if something happens? What if a bomb explodes and you die? I know you're willing to risk your life, but are you willing to risk my happiness?_ I erased that last sentence, it was selfish and manipulative, _I know, I know, there goes my overactive imagination again, but I can't help it I'm worried about you. War is just so pointless, I know you disagree, saying that there can be no peace without war, but I hate it. People die, children die, there's fear everywhere, and people cry because loved ones get killed, and each side thinks it's right, but no one really knows that, right? Who's to say what's wrong and what's right. I say war is wrong, but is that going to solve anything? I'm sorry, it just feels like with every problem solved, a bunch of new ones appear. Like that dragon thing Hercules killed... Wow, I'm really off topic, first I'm talking about war, then boom, dragon thing. By the way, I'm not in Phoenix anymore, I'm in a new orphanage in England for super geniuses. I'm not a genius, but I have a brother who is, he hates me, and it would be unethical to keep us apart. Gosh, I feel like so many things are out of my control, it's frustrating... I send you my love, as always be safe._

_Love,_

_Bella_

I felt lighter, somehow, after I wrote the letter but I think I should it. I set it down on my desk and took out some books to study, I didn't want to look like a complete imbecile on the physics test tomorrow.


	8. Cookies

**Cookies**

After I gave up trying to understand Physics I wandered around the mansion until I came to the kitchen it was full of high tech cooking stuff. One of the cooks saw me and asked if wanted some thing to eat.

"No, I want something to cook."

She looked amused, "okay what would you like to cook? How 'bout some chocolate chip cookies? You like cookies?"

"Sure, but I'm not a cooking prodigy or anything I just like to cook."

"Honey, I didn't expect you to be a 'prodigy' as you call it, God the pressure they put on kids to be perfect these days, especially here. I'm Rose by the way," she told me stretching out a hand to shake.

I took the hand, "Be -I mean Nobody, I'm pleased to meet you," it was the first time I had almost slipped up, maybe it was because Rose felt like home.

"You crazy kids with names these days, at least it's original," she said smiling, her eyes made me feel warm inside, nothing like the teachers here, except for Iris.

We got out the eggs and flour and chocolate chips, I didn't need help, but I liked feeling warm inside. I noticed Rose eating the cookie batter.

"Rose, don't eat that, it has raw eggs and flour!"

"I've lived long enough, besides I've never heard of anyone dying from cookie dough."

"Well, do you want to be the first?"

"Aren't I the adult here?"

"Yes, and you're not setting a good example."

"I can't beleive I'm actually saying this but, when I was your age I would eat cookie dough all the time and I'm still here now, God, I feel like such an old lady now."

I laughed, "okay fine you win, you can eat the cookie dough."

When the cookies were done they were golden brown with the chocolate chips just beginning to melt. They smelled like home, but I think cookies smell that way if they're baked right to anyone.

"Now those are what I call chocolate chip cookies, " Rose told me reaching to get one.

"Rose they're hot!"

"I know, but these old hands of mine are used to it," she told me, taking a cookie and breaking it in two. She gave me half and it burned my mouth as soon as I put it in, but I didn't care because it was just so nice to stand there with gooey chocolate chips melting in my mouth.

"Wow, these are good, just like my old granny May used to make, " Rose said, her eyes far away, "Y'know Noba you can come here whenever you want, I don't mind, and all of us are pretty nice if I do say so myself."

I smiled at the nickname, "what about class?"

"Pretend you have a fever then come here, the teachers here are so snooty they don't think any of the kids would be smart enough to lie to them believably, if one thinks you're sick in bed, you're as good as free," she said conspiratorially, "but don't you try to run away, the teachers here do know a thing or two about finding people," she added when she saw the look in my eyes.

"I'm not a good liar."

"I'll lie to them then."

"Are you sure you're a grownup."

" Course not, listen the secret of life is that no matter how old you get, it's your choice whether you grow up or not."

I wanted to hug her, she was like the grandmother I never had, "I'm going to miss you when I leave."

"Leave?"

"My fiance is in Iraq, but when he comes back we're getting married and I'm leaving with him."

"Now why is your fiance fighting a war in Iraq when he should be helping you plan a wedding?"

"He's a guy and apparently it's one of those guy things that he can't explain to me, because if I don't understand now, it can't be explained."

"You miss him don't you? Poor Noba," she pulled me into a hug.

I awkwardly hugged back.

"Would you look at the time? It's past your bedtime young lady," she said, finally pulling away.

"I thought you weren't a grown up."

"I'm not, but I can't have you all tired when we make cake tomorrow. Go to bed. Now," she told me firmly, but kindly. I couldn't wait until tomorrow.


	9. Snow

**Snow**

By Friday people had stopped staring at me so much and I had fallen into the routine of skipping gym class to cook with Rose. She seemed determined to bake every dessert in existance, it was fun. Linda, Six, and Elani, were all nice to me, and have apparently made me a permanent resident at their table. Wammy's had an enormous library, I spent most of my time there like most kids, except they were studying, unlike me, I was just reading.

My first weekend at Wammy's came and passed without incident. I stayed in my room and read 'Emma', by Jane Austen for the millionth time and cooked with Rose; Turkish delight. I've always loved Turkish delight ever since I read 'The Chronicles of Narnia; The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe'.

On monday we had a pop essay on 'Wuthering Heights', but it was pretty easy, English is pretty much the only class I'm half decent at.

All in all, I was feeling a lot more comfortable than I thought I would feel by this point, a lot more comfortable than I ever thought I would feel here.

When class was over, the air outside was full of swirling bits of white. Kids were shouting ecstatically to each other.

"Wow," said Six, "it's snowing."

I looked at the little cotton fluffs that were building up against the sidewalk and swirling erratically past the windows.

"Ew," I said. Snow. There went my good day.

He looked surprised, "don't you like snow?"

"No, it means it's too cold for rain." Obviously, "besides, isn't it supposed to come down in flakes -you know, each one unique and all that jazz. These just look like the ends of Q-tips."

"Haven't you ever seen snow fall?" Six asked incredulously.

"Sure I have," I paused, "on TV."

Six laughed, "since when do people believe TV?"

"Good point. I have to go study now, see you later."

"You're just like Mello, always studying, never having fun. But I guess you are his sister."

"Don't remind me."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"He hates me, he hates that someone who's related to him could possibly be as dumb as me."

Six's eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted into an angry frown, "who does he think he is, prancing around like he's better than all of us..." Six stalked off muttering something incoherent.

Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind. I spun around and there was Linda, "hey Nobody, come on we're going to play in the snow.

I played in the snow for a while, it was a little fun, but it was cold and wet. I happened to glance at the windows and there was Near, I didn't notice him at first because he was so pale, I thought that he was some oddly shaped snow. He was putting together a puzzle. It may have been just my imagination but he seemed lonely somehow, although I'm not sure how a blank stare can be lonely, that's what he looked like to me. I had the strange urge to sit down with him and help him put together the puzzle.

Linda noticed me staring and told me, "I've invited him to play about a million times, but he never says yes, I think he likes being alone, helps him think or something..."

But my heart disagreed, no one truly likes to be alone, they need someone to help them through the bad times and share the good...


	10. Can't Sleep

**Can't Sleep**

It was 4:23, the softly falling snow against the night sky reminded of dandruff in dark hair. Dark hair made me think of when I was four and I was so excited to ride a pony for the first time. It had dark hair and a white spot around it's left eye, I thought it was beautiful. I fell of the pony and started crying. Crying made me think of babies, I wondered what would make the crying babies in my mind stop. Music, maybe? Music made me think of violins, violins reminded me of Six. Six has messy hair. Messy hair reminded me of Edward, I wondered if they made him cut his disorganized bronze locks off. I couldn't quite picture Edward with short hair. If I tried to picture him with short hair all I could see was his eyes. I could drown in his eyes. I pictured myself holding on to his eyelashes, terrified of being swept away in a wave of his eyes. Waves. Waves are blue. Blue like the sky should be. But the sky wasn't blue, it was black because it was 4:27 and I was awake.

I began to count sheep. Sheep looked like that boy -what was his name again? It begins with an N, Ned? Nick? Nathan? Neil? Neville? Noah? Nolan? Norman? Norton? Norton rhymes with Horton. Hortan Hears a Who. Dr. Seuss. I ate green eggs and ham when I was six. Six. Six played Tik Tok on his violin. I laughed. If laughs were an object, I think they would be bubbles. Sometimes I want to climb into a bubble and float away.

Goodbye world.

The world so far away made me think of space. I wonder what the moon is like. I looked out the window, the moon was red right then. How odd. I remembered Edward once telling me why the moon was sometimes red, I forgot the reason why. Maybe the moon was bleeding. I shuddered that painted a very morbid picture in my mind. Mind. Do I have a mind? Everyone here is so smart, it seems unlikely. Unlikely made me think of long distance relationships. We're engaged. But I was in England, Edward was in Iraq fighting a war. 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' began playing in my head. No wonder I couldn't sleep, it was so LOUD. Crying babies and violins and Green Day don't mix very well. I don't mix well with the other students, I guess I'll just have to find a way, 'I Found a Way,' began playing too. I wanted to cover my and yell, 'SHUT UP!'

I closed my eyes and covered my ears with my pillow, but I could still hear everything. I opened my eyes and caught sight of the time. It was already 7:04! Where did the time go? I had to get ready for class!


End file.
